WHEN IT TURNED SOUR

About 3 weeks ago, my name was mysteriously find its way to PPD Kulai Language Department and landed in the Kulai District Teachers Debate Team 2008. Actually tak la mysterious sangat. I know who proposed my name. But let us stick to the mysterious part ek.

Then, I met the team. A bunch of English teachers serving in Kulai district. A really fun group to be with. I learn a lot from them. Seriously. The truth is, I've been waiting for my chance to go to meetings ke, workshops ke so I can meet other English teachers out there. So, I was scared, but was thrilled when the opportunity came.

We spend 5 days for the practice. Then the !st round came. We were meeting Pasir Gudang district. We won. We were happy.

Sadly the next round, the quarter finals is one day after the 1 week school holidays. Today to be exact. I drove all the way from Kaki Bukit Fraser, rest for a while, and sped off to Taman Putri for the final and my only rehersal. I spend the night kat Taman Putri.

We went to Kluang to meet Muar. Sadly, we won. True. We were hoping to lose actually. Heck! We wanted to lose. I was not pating attention when the speaker made the announcement. Aku macam "hah? Pedia?"

Kenapa aku tak nak menang? Sebab dah tak larat wei. Imagine every single day talking about motion of today, wheather it stands or not.

But truth be told. I hate winning because of the toll it had taken on my life. Rasa macam topsy turvy je hidup nowadays. Bukan I hate debates. I loved it. I know I'm good at it. Tapi the emotional strain and its effect to my personal life memang la cannot take it anymore. I am tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Penat la. But the worst part of it, when I am on stage, I feel like I belonged there. I loved every single 8 minutes of it. Loved it! But I just cannot take it. I just want my life back.

I loved what I am experiencing during the debates and its journey. But I regreted the day I said "Yes".