HARI RAYA KORBAN 2011

Nothing to do with the title really...just a reminder that this day is that.

...

After 31 year of roaming this earth, I still feel that I have not really fulfilled whatever I want to fulfill. Everyday there's a constant void deep within me. Somewhere deep within me.

I feel. Empty. Desolate. Useless.

Took a stress personality test last few months and guess what? I have chronic anxiety!! Chronic! The maximum score you can get and I passed flying colours..Waahhhh... Like seriously..

But there could be a side influencing factor as that day I was a bit messed up. But I have the feeling that even if I took it any other day I would somehow get the same score.

Life is always greener on the other side. Come on. Please.. Spray some fertilizer on your own garden would ya!!!!

BEFORE I DIE

Tadi aku menumpang baca blog seorang ex-student sekolah ini di laptop member aku. Dia sedang diuji dengan leukemia.. Reading her blog membuatkan aku kagum. Dalam keadaan distress begitu she looked so happy and so foward to life. Hidup dia dikelilingi oleh orang-orang yang dia sayang dan menyayangi dia..

It made me wonder. Apa yang aku akan buat jika aku hanya ada 6 months to live? Korang pernah terwonder camtu tak? Aku selalu wonder gak actually.. But today is like an eye opener.

Punya lama aku tidak mendahulukan diri sendiri membuatkan aku terlupa what makes me happy. Dulu senang sungguh mencari cara menghappykan diri. Sekarang? Apa yang aku teringin sangat dulu nak buat dulu ye?

Dulu aku plan, nanti habis study, bila dh kerja... perghh...banyaknya plan..Now? How come aku tak ingat apa yang aku nak buat.. Senang nya manusia hilang arah bila kita terlalu diconsume with life. But is that living?

Hmm...

So sesapa ada wonderful things they would like to do sebelum mati, please share.. mana tau aku leh ciplak sikit-sikit..

adios..

PERGHHH

Lama sungguh wei rasanya tak berblog di sini..

So many thoughts but through experience i know that some people just don't get that this blog is where I jot down my musings. Thots of the day.

Tapi x per lah kan..i follow..

Anyhow...gave birth to a princess last November. Kamilea Auni which means My Serene Camelia..

Banyak sngat ni actually in my mind but after a long "holiday" it seemed that my brain went blank. but sometime i guess it is good to know that when the brain is in a state of momentary shut down it means it actually thinking of something..

anyhow.. can't write anything that will not hurt other parties.. maka.. shut up la kan..

bubye for now..